It may seem like some people are born gifted and to be under the spotlight. And while some personality traits are indeed inherited, the truth is, the way you present yourself as a confident individual is a skill that can be learned. And it’s more than simply the concept of talk-the-talk and walk-the-walk.
If you’ve ever met someone whom you took a liking to but could not pinpoint what it is about them that makes them so likable, it’s because of their charisma and confidence. While it may seen hard to believe, people are not born with charisma. In fact, you learn to become charismatic in your unique way.
We are often drawn to people who take charge and initiative, and do so in influential positive way (as opposed to abusing a title or rank of authority). However, someone who is more reserved and has great ideas, skills and talents may have a more difficult time to recognized as having great confidence. NOT impossible, not at all. But our culture is indeed influenced by those persona’s that engaged and entertain us while at the same time getting the job done.
There is a great book released last year;“Influence Redefined”by Stacey Hanke, that I suggest for anyone that hopes to lead with influence, or at least be perceived as one. (PLEASE ADD LINK TO HER BOOK)
Good news! Confidence can be learned.
Here are a few ways to improve your self-confidence and gain the attention of those around you:
Have you encountered someone who always brought themselves down? Not only did they not realize that they were “killing the mood”, it also made it difficult to be near them because you would end up feeling depressed.
Similarly, some people made you happy the instance you thought about them. This is because these people emitted energy and were confident in their abilities.
This doesn’t mean that you should discard problems and ignore them. It just means that when you encounter a situation, you should try to see it in a different light.
Practice positivity until you it becomes part of your thinking process. When faced with adversity, don’t think something along the lines of, “I’m doomed.”
Instead, think something along the lines of, “How can I turn the situation around?” or “Maybe it happened because something better is waiting.”
The first book that I read for my self-development was: “Life Is Tremendous” by Charlie “Tremendous” Jones. I did so as a Junior in college and it truly made a difference in who I was going forward. Not right away, but simple lessons learned and reinforced I still recall today.
When you’re preparing for war, it’s imperative to know your enemy. And your worst enemy is the inner critic that lives inside you. We need to know where we are today, in order to set a plan for where we want to go.
While most of us believe that we know ourselves better than anyone else, you’ll be surprised how much you don’t know about yourself! Are you willing to ask others about how you were perceived in that last meeting or around the office? What actions, comments or attitudes generated that response whether positive or negative.
Have you ever thought to sit down and jot down supposed reasons you feel like you can’t achieve something?Can you provide a valid reasons for those fears? Are those reasons able to be overcome by learning new skills?
It goes without saying that nobody is perfect.Every one of us has flaws. But successful and confident people focus on their strong points, not their flaws. Emphasize them and don’t forget to build on them at the same time.
All of us have abilities. We’re all talented individuals.Are you comfortable showcasing those talents? Not in a manner to show-off or present an egocentric version of yourself. Use them to to the benefit of everyone working with you or on the project. For the common good instead of only your own.
Before you know it, you’ll start seeing yourself in a different light! Others will see new found confidence and charisma in your demeanor.
JonPetz is an author and keynote speaker on peak performance with years of experience in the real-life corporate industry as a corporate sales and marketing executive. If you’re looking for a dose of relevant inspiration, education and engagement, view his work and motivational speeches to learn more.